but I am going to give it a try. I am getting ready to go to bed but I cant help but wonder why Nik didnt call me today. He said when I talked to him yesterday that he would call me today and he didnt. OH well I guess he probably got busy. Its so hard to just sit around and wait on a phone call when all you want to do is fall into his arms crying and all broken down and just have him wrap his arms around me and tell me that everything will be ok!!! somtimes thats all I need to hear. but now I cant even get that. Having Wyatt has helped this year, I thought for sure that this time was going to be so much harder than the last time because of the baby but its not as bad. I mean there is no question that I miss him like crazy but with the baby i had to get up and keep in a routine anf that seemed to help me out alot. with everything thats been going on in my life I dont know if I have really processed that fact that he is gone for 15 months but I know he is.
About the housing thing... I think I am going to take it... ok well I REALLY want to take it!!! but I dont know if I can. all this crap happed the day after Nik left and I cant talk to him about it and thats whats so frusterating about all this. I mean I want the house because I cant see 7 people, 6 cats, and 2 dogs (that dont like cats) living in my 1300 sq. ft. house. so in my head WHY NOT TAKE THE HOUSE??!!?!?!? right?? well I am just overwhelmed with the "what ifs" and it seems like everytime I try to talk to my mom about it and try to find a way to stay here with everyone she seems to blow me off like its not important.... and its very very important to me. I just dont know what to do. I am trying to make a pros and cons list out of it to see where that gets me but I cant seem to think of anything when I am trying to think of stuff...lol... if that makes any sence at all. ok well its getting late and of course I have to get up early so I am going to call it a night... I think I will try this thing tomorrow.... it seems to help even though I am not getting any advice back but then again I am not getting attitude or rolled eyes...lol... ok
peace out home dawg!!!!
~~momma A~~
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2 comments:
Yes I know what you mean about being wrapped in his arms......I can't wait for that day to get here!!! Well I dont want to be in Nik's well you know what I mean. Welcome to the blog world!!!!!
well, basicly you just rant here. do it in such a way that anyone can read it. like with lindsey, she writes it and it helps me keep up to date with the happenings that she forgets to tell me about. provide us some insight into your crazy life!
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